Perfectly Imperfect
by Poetic.blue
Summary: Contains spoilers for 7-11. What happens after Robin's reveal to Barney. A little oddly written, it's the frist time I've done something like this. But please givce it a try.


_She's scared, and she hates it. She wants to be wrong._

**He's hurt, and he hates it. He wants to be OK.**

_But she's not. She's right and everything else is wrong._

**But he's not. He's falling apart and everyone else is fine.**

_This isn't how it's supposed to be. She's supposed to console unwed mothers, not be consoled._

**This isn't how it should be. He's supposed to break hearts, not get his heart broken.**

_She holds the test and she cries, sobbing in a very un-Robin-like way._

**He holds her while she cries, fighting back silent tears of his own because Barney Stinson doesn't cry.**

_She wishes she could take it back._

**He's confused. He asks her what she means.**

_She has no idea. She wants to tell him _them _but she can't. She never could lie._

**He thinks he knows but doesn't ask because what if he was right? So he holds her tight and tells her it'll all be ok. He always was good at lying.**

_She can't stand this anymore, so she wipes her eyes and tells him he's right, it'll be ok. Maybe she's not such a bad liar after all._

**He lets her go because he can't take it either and he needs to be alone. But he knows he can't be alone forever.**

_She wants to say goodbye to him, but she doesn't think she can without breaking down, so instead she says goodbye to everyone else and tries to catch a cab._

**He doesn't mean to run into her again. He really wants to take a walk and think, maybe he'd be able to turn back time to when things were simple, and he didn't have feelings.**

_She spots him and she stops. She wants him to come over, but at the same time, she doesn't because she knows there's a part of her she can't hide around him, and she hates that part._

**He can't figure out why he insists they share a cab, except maybe he likes that part she hates because he knows it's in him too.**

_She's holding her breath in the cab because she knows if she doesn't that part will come out and she'll hate herself even more._

**He doesn't stay quiet the way he knows she wants. Instead he starts talking, not even knowing what he's saying. It's something about how look, he knows what he said about t being a bad father and he's sorry, but if the baby is his-**

_But she stops him. she doesn't want to hear 'baby' and she doesn't want to hear 'his' because as far as she knows, it's Kevin's baby and they'll get married-_

**And this time he stops her because he doesn't want to think of her with Kevin or honestly anyone else but him. But he doesn't say that because he doesn't want to make things harder.**

_Instead he says something she doesn't hear because she's thinking about getting married, and Kevin and spending the rest of her life with him, and she can't help it that the thought makes her burst into tears at how much she hates that picture._

**He stares at her for a half second before instinct takes over and he pulls her against his chest. She keeps crying harder and harder and her tears are staining his silk tie and his Armani suit, but he doesn't care. Suits don't matter when it comes to Robin.**

_She's still crying and he's still holding her when they reach her building. She doesn't move. She just presses her face closer to his chest because she doesn't want to leave._

**He doesn't want her to leave. So he gives his address to the cab driver (Who, though he doesn't notice, is the same driver from the last time it happened.) The driver has a smirk on his face as they drive away, but Barney doesn't notice because Robin wants to stay with him.**

_He's holding her tight and somehow there's a part of her that's happy even though she knows she shouldn't be. She wishes she wasn't so close to him, but somehow she can't make herself slide away._

**He doesn't want to let go of her, even when they reach his apartment, so he doesn't. He keeps holding her until the driver not so politely tells them 'if you love birds want a room to yourselves, we're at your stop'. Barney throws two twenties at him and doesn't bother with change. Who needs change?**

_She's led to his apartment and she knows it, but she doesn't care. She's comfortable with him. He's not close to perfect, like Kevin is, but she doesn't care. She's nowhere near perfect, why would she want someone who is?_

**He offers scotch and she nods and he's grateful because he doesn't like feelings or being emotional and it won't bother him if he's drunk. He wants to drink until he doesn't care about anything but her. But really, when isn't that the case?**

_She nods because she's stupid and she's crying so much she can't even remember why until she smells the alcohol. Her stomach heaves. The test comes rushing back and the tears fall harder._

**He's an idiot, and he hates it. He's not supposed to make mistakes. At least, he's not supposed to think of himself as making mistakes. But lately he's doing it left and right and none of them are small.**

_She's thinking about mistakes and imperfection. She wonders if she'll ever stop sobbing. Or if she'll ever stop feeling like mistakes are meant to be. She wonders about fate and destiny and if maybe she was supposed to end up like this with him._

**He's thinking about how he hates the word love. He wonders if Robin loves Kevin. Or if she loves him. He wonders if this could ever work and they could ever be happy.**

_Her tears have slowed they're almost stopped and she's stopped leaning on him. She sits back and looks around at his apartment. She thinks that maybe if she had to, she could raise a child here._

**He lets himself think what he's been avoiding all night. If the baby is his, what will they do? Will they get back together, raise a child as boyfriend/girlfriend? (He'd be ok with this.)**

_Will they raise it separately? (She doesn't like this option)_

**Will they get married in the next few months, raise the kid, be a family, and be happy? (By far his favorite)**

_Will they even keep the baby? (Could she give up a child?)_

**Will they grow old together and sit on a porch holding hands when they're ninety? (He doesn't want to hope, but he can't help it.)**

_Will they never even have it? (She doesn't want to think this way.)_

**There's another possibility that he doesn't want to think about. What if the baby is Kevin's? He doesn't know what he would do. He wants to tell her that he wants the baby to be his but her eyes are closed and she's too beautiful to wake up.**

_She's drifting off and even though she knows she shouldn't, she doesn't care. (She's been doing a lot of things she shouldn't, what's one more?)_

**He moves away from and takes a sip of scotch because he just wants this feeling to go away but he doesn't want things to be more messed up. He picks her up and carries her to his bed because she's a lady, and ladies shouldn't sleep on a couch.**

_She feels like she's moving but she things maybe it's a dream or maybe the test was a dream and she's just being pulled back from it. Or maybe this is like those moments where you see a path of life right before you have to make a decision and maybe this is right before they breakup and all she knows is she doesn't want to anymore._

**He pulls the covers over her and she smiles and he smiles because he wants her to be happy. He climbs into the bed next to her just so he can watch her sleep.**

_She wakes up with her head on his chest and she's confused. She can't remember much but she doesn't think she drank. She's not supposed to._

**He's holding her, one arm around her shoulders one hand on her waist. He didn't sleep during the night, he just laid there and thought. He has to tell her he loves her because he does and she needs to know.**

_He doesn't know she's awake so she just lays there and wishes she never had to move. She tries to remember if she dreamt, because even though she's never told anybody, her dreams have always been there to tell her what she really wants, at least when she's stressed._

**He wants to ask her who she thinks the father is but he's scared because if the answer is Kevin he doesn't know what he'll do.**

_She doesn't know how to tell him, Barney Stinson, the man who wants to still be picking up girls when he's eighty, that she's pretty sure he's the father._

**He's never wanted to get married, not since Shannon left him. He's never wanted kids or a wife or a family because he didn't need it. But now? Now he wants Robin, and if she comes with all that, he wants it too.**

_She rolls away from him onto her back. She stares up at the ceiling and she wishes she had the courage to tell him._

**He folds his hands over his stomach. He stares at her and wishes he had the courage to tell her.**

_She opens her mouth to tell him, but she stops. Instead, she says something about how she has to go because Kevin's probably worried._

**But he doesn't hear. He stops listening At Kevin. Everything comes back and he remembers that everything is complicated and nothing between them will ever be simple.**

_She gets up and she walks away from him. She wants him to stop her._

**He doesn't.**

_She looks back at him and his eyes are closed. He has a hurt look on his face, and she thinks that if she hadn't already used up her crying quota for the next year, she'd cry again._

**He closes his eyes because he hasn't slept, and besides, he doesn't want to watch her walk away.**

_She takes a cab home. She stares out the window and tries to remember her dreams. It takes a minute, but they it all comes back._

**He's dreaming about the future.**

_She dreamt about the future _

**He dreams that the baby is his, and they get married, and for some reason they're living in Lily and Marshal's Long Island house. But he doesn't question it because they're happy.**

_She dreamt that she broke up with Kevin, Barney gave a speech about happiness, and they got back together. (The thought makes her happy even though she knows It shouldn't.) But that hasn't happened because she's scared to do it. (Hasn't happened yet?)_

**He dreams of his wedding, their wedding, and he knows he'll be nervous but he doesn't care because after it means he'll spend the rest of his life with Robin.**

_She sees it all clearly now. She knows what she wants. She pays the cab driver but waits for her change (Because change is a part of life.)_

**He keeps dreaming until his phone rings, hours later. It's Robin.**

_She tells him she broke up with Kevin and-_

**But he doesn't hear. He stops listening because nothing else matters. **_**She broke up with Kevin.**_

_He's not saying anything so she keeps talking, accidently telling the whole story because she doesn't know what else to do. She tell him how she told Kevin and he was happy until she said it wasn't his-_

**He tells her to back up, wait a minute, the baby isn't Kevin's? **

_She says no, and she's not sure if he's happy or sad._

**He's happy. He can't believe how happy he is to hear he's a father, but he is.**

_She closes her eyes in disbelief at the joy in his voice when he asks if she wants to come over. She says yes._

**He asks if she could wait fifteen minutes before heading over because there's something he has to do.**

_She says fine, but she can't help but feel disappointed because she's sure he's leaving town._

**He's making a call to his flower guy. His guy asks didn't he just do this a week ago? Why is he doing it again? Barney doesn't answer.**

_She's in a cab on her way when she wonders if she made the right decision. It doesn't make sense. Why leave perfection for someone as poorly put together as herself?_

**He's waiting with roses in hand and petals on his bed. If he weren't Barney Stinson, he'd say he was giddy.**

_She's scared, and she hates it. She has to be strong._

**He's nervous, and he hates it. He has to be smooth.**

_She pauses outside his door and just stares at it. She can't do this._

**But she doesn't have to because he opens the door, and nothing has to be said.**

They hug and they kiss and everything falls into place the way it should. Anyone who sees it would say it's pretty messed up, and way to imperfect to work. But they don't care. They _do_ work. They're simply… perfectly imperfect.


End file.
